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X marks the mushrooms Day - The Monkey Files

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August 30th, 2006


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08:08 am - X marks the mushrooms Day
Why is it that every time I walk into a supermarket, no matter how rushed and flustered I attempt to look, the supermarket staff always look up in unison and think, “now here is a girl who likes to have fun. Here is a girl who appreciates a treasure hunt”. Special mentions should go to Budgens:
“Excuse me, where can I find eggs?”
“Next to the coffee”
A moment of puzzlement… no! I get it! Now I go and ask someone else where the coffee is! What a scream!

And also Tesco:
“Excuse me, where can I find mushrooms?”
“Next to the mushroom sign”
That was an enlightening clue. Thanks, I am now feeling particularly intelligent. Can I ask you where I find the mushroom sign?

I had an entertaining as always chat on the phone last night with Granny Cool. “Lily”, she says, “it’s all been a bit busy. I don’t think I’m going to get you a birthday present organised by Friday.” You would never guess that I’ve had my birthday on the same date for 25 years. She makes it sound like I’ve chosen this Friday as some kind of mischievous trick just to be inconvenient! Oh well, I’m not totally averse to my birthday stretching into a month long Lily Festival. Bring it on Grannio! I also eagerly await an Auntie Dot Glue and Glitter Extravaganza. I shouldn’t laugh; she’s nearly 90 and almost blind and thus quite legendary to still be making cards by hand. She has also had to accept the weighty mantle of equally great greetings card randomness long carried by Auntie Elsie until her death. Elsie’s “Hurrah! You’re 16!” card on my 18th was without a shadow of doubt one of the most hilarious and memorable birthday moments of my life and will never cease to make me chuckle. I think it was the “hurrah” that made it so funny, as if it was a huge relief that this momentous occasion had arrived. It took considerable willpower not to write “Hurrah! You’re senile!” on the corresponding thank you letter to her. God bless her soul.

Steve reassured me that he had remembered my birthday. Apparently this is easy, because it is the same date as his first wife’s new husband. Well of course! His daughter, Katie, has her birthday today by the way. I like having a magic date of birth; to my addled brain, this is what makes my birthday easy to remember. I was born in 1981 on the 1st day of the 9th month- in other words 1.9.81. Nobody in the current century will have the privilege of such a magic date. I think the next date with this magic will be 2.1.00. Please do not think that I view myself with some mysticism or am dictating national observation of Lily Day, I’m just mysteriously excited for the first time in years!

I am also fretting about Audrey’s wedding on Saturday. Not so much in terms of bad memories of previous weddings, a whole weekend of strained conversations and the absence of any music yet for my solo, but mostly in relation to my Marilyn Monroe dress. Pretty white floatiness and sleevelessness had seemed such a good idea mid-heatwave. Now it is freezing and rainy and my period is due. Nuff said.

My boss sent through a new target sheet today, with the deadlines for my projects. It was from the progress meeting I had a month ago, but he’s not had a chance to write it before now. I have to read it through, just to check that I agree. Suddenly I spot tomorrow’s date next to a particularly substantial piece of work on which I have done substantially little (hopefully due to other commitments) and the smile freezes on my face. It was a similar feeling to an incident at the barbecue on Monday. A lady asked if I had any nieces and nephews, to which I replied in the affirmative. She then asked his age and where he lived and I answered both questions. “Oh, lovely, that’s not too far away. Some people have nephews in Australia and never see them. That must be so awful, it’s unimaginable”. It was at this point that my smile froze and I excused myself to go and top-up my (non-alcoholic) drink.

Praise God, Laura has decided I'm "cool" again. Well probably not cool, but she's back to her old self and we've met up at lunchtime a couple of times in the past week and had fun. For all our differences, she is a good friend. Shel has also been back at work this week, although I don't think she'll stay with us long if another job comes up. On a similar theme, Anna has a job tomorrow 150 miles away from here. She's in a specialist line of work so if there's a good placement, she needs to go for it pretty much regardless of where in the country she would be located. I'll miss her a lot though. I miss Mike, but I guess I ought to try phoning him again.

Anyway, onwards and upwards! Nose to the coalface!
Current Mood: blahbit early to say!

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